by Nathan Oppman
March 5, 2013
I recently read a column detailing ways to protect a marriage from adultery. The article identified many problems that can lead to infidelity but the advice they gave for avoiding it was severely lacking. The article notes (as does our own MARRI team) that couples who cohabit are much more likely to be unfaithful after marriage. However, instead of advising couples that they should not live together before marriage, the article advises them to avoid using cohabitation as a test run for marriage. The article also notes that the internet makes cheating easier and encourages women to watch pornography with their husbands. Once again, instead of avoiding the cause of the problem, the article suggests participating in it together.
This is gripping, and sad: When facts are ignored in favor of what is popular, society is endangered. Couples who live together or watch pornography together have not addressed the underlying problem of each - selfishness. If we choose to love our spouses unconditionally and invest in them daily, we will have successful marriages. We can’t control our spouses or manipulate sinful behaviors for our own ends, but we can demonstrate a profound love that fosters the feelings many couples seek.
Love isn’t a feeling, it is an action. The best way to have a happy marriage is to love your spouse whether you feel like it or not. And you know what? Loving a spouse when you don’t feel like it will make your life a much more fulfilling adventure.