Tag archives: Al Gore

Al Gore — BYOB*

by Robert Morrison

August 16, 2011

*Bring Your Own Bleeps

Former Vice President Al Gore recently addressed a forum in Aspen, Colorado. He spoke at length about climate. The exposure last year of a number of embarrassing emails and tricks being performed by some of the worlds leading climate scientists did not faze the ex-Veep. Nor, apparently, was he bothered by the UN climate panels mixing up the dates when the Himalayan glaciers would all melt away. They will not all be gone by 2035, after all. (Why liberals would be worried about the Himalayas anyway is a puzzle since uber liberal Thomas Friedman has assured us the world is flat.)

No, Al Gore is angry, enraged really, that there is anyone left on this flat earth who still disagrees with him. Dissent is not dissent, Al says, its denial. Denial is not a river inEgypt. Its like Holocaust Denial. If you disagree with Al Gore, you are a neo-Nazi; you are not to be listened to in polite company.

Ahem. About that polite company: Remember when it used to be, well, polite? I remember when I was a young political activist, we were all shocked at the expletive deleteds that littered the transcripts of the Nixon White House tapes. The embattled Nixon press office thought they might escape censure by putting out expurgated versions of the presidents previously private conversations.

They were sadly mistaken. Tens of millions of Americans who had voted for Richard Nixon were appalled at the ugliness, the foul-mindedness of the man they thought was one of their own. Americans are smart. They can fill in the blanks.

Well, with Al Gore, you dont have to fill in any blanks. The man who was addressing the Choose Civility crowd in Aspen let it all hang out.

[Warning: Liberals speaking in public. Violent imagery, tortured logic, and even worse grammar.]

He rants. He rages. He roars. He seems to think if you holler loud enough, you convince people. Or, at the very least, you intimidate them into silence.

You dont. Millions of Americans are realizing that the climate change racket has been pulling the all-organic, free-range Merino wool over our eyes for a generation. We no longer genuflect when told some product, program, or politician is green.

We still care about our environment. We still want clean air and clean waters. We are still concerned about the world our children will live in.

Its just that we no longer buy into the argument that the EPA knows best.

We no longer think its smart to ban oil drilling offshore here, while subsidizing Brazilians to drill off their coasts. Too many of us have been sold a bill of goods on the virtues of wind turbines. These wind turbines are good for generating electricity anywhere but offMarthas Vineyard, where the liberal elites summer.

Al Gore used to be the adult in the Clinton White House. Bill Clinton was never behind in the polls one day after choosing Al Gore as his running mate in 1992. Perhaps voters thought Al Gore would be the hall monitor for the Oval Office.

Something snapped inside Al Gore. After losing the 2000 Floridarecount. And it was the Supreme Court that did it, too. That liberal templeof Roe v. Wade. How cruel. How bitter.

Gore went off the deep end. He had been raised to be President of the United States. He had put up with eight years of Bill Clintons shenanigans. He had had to sigh through those debates with Texas Gov. George Bush. That dim bulb! And Ws not even a dim Compact Fluorescent Light bulb!

After all that, to lose the election, to have CNN of all outfits, confirm your loss, was so unfair. That margin of votes in Floridais as narrow as a hair on a flea on an elephants backside. It was a measly 537 votes. That was too much for sanitys sake.

If the world is going to go crazy like that, I might as well go crazy, too,Prince Albertsaid to himself. So now, he flies in private jets to climate conferences, is chauffeured from venue to venue, and consoled by other graybeards. He deports himself as that Man Who Would Have Been King.

His profane profundities miss the mark, alas. His howling against outrageous fortune lacks dignity and force. He just bays at the Moon.

Albert, get thee to a nunnery, or at least to a decent library. Read King Lear.

He, too, turned out by ingrates, gone mad upon the heath, could invoke Nature and rail against unjust Fortune:

Blow, winds, and crack your cheeks! rage! blow!

You cataracts and hurricanoes, spout

Till you have drenched our steeples, drowned the cocks!

You sulphurous and thought-executing fires,

Vaunt-couriers to oak-cleaving thunderbolts,

Singe my white head! And thou, all-shaking thunder,

Strike flat the thick rotundity o’ the world!

Crack nature’s molds, all germens spill at once

That make ingrateful man!

Those lines were written by Shakespeare four hundred years ago. Now, thats the way to go mad, if you must. And have you noticed all the furs worn by Shakespeare and his characters in that Elizabethan era? A Little Ice Age, perhaps? Dont get Prince Albertstarted. Hell deny you!

Archives